I LIKE NIKE

I was ordering a pair of new Nikes the other day through NikeID — Nike's website that allows you to customize your sneakers. In addition to picking colors of your shoes and laces, Nike also allows you to "ID" your shoes with your name (as long as it's eight letters or less).

While experimenting with various eight-letter words, I discovered that Nike prohibits certain words from appearing on its sneakers.

Feel free to put the Republican nominee's name on your shoes...

...but if you try to put the Democrat's name on 'em, Nike says "No, you can't!"

Nike thinks GOD is good...

...but JESUS isn't just all right with them.

You can't put HITLER on your Air Jordans...

...but they're fine if you're just a regular ol' NAZI.

And they say "da" to STALIN.

Wanna advocate for MURDER? Nike says, kill it!

I think it would pair well with this SUICIDE sneaker.

If you're more into blue collar crime, lace up the Air PERJURY!

This is my favorite of all the words banned by NIKE.