ON TILT

Here's a weird symptom on WebMD's "Symptom Checker."

"Yeah, Doc, I'm having difficulty swallowing... 
and I've noticed it gets worse every time I drink a big glass of poison."

BABY IN A BOX

Here's a warning label that was affixed to a plastic storage box I bought at Target. When gifting a baby this Christmas, don't put it in a box — be responsible and wrap it in a festive mylar bag.

RETURN TO FOREVER

Chris had an extra seat to the reunion tour of Chick Corea's band Return To Forever. The lineup was legendary: Lenny White, Al Di Meola and Stanley Clarke.

So what's the biggest difference between seeing any random show at the Universal Amphitheater versus going to a concert by the seminal jazz fusion band of the 1970s? Well, at intermission, the line for the men's room was 20 deep.

By contrast, here's a shot of the line for the ladies' room:

ESPERANZA SPALDING AT THE CATALINA BAR & GRILL

Cell phone photo. (My cell phone provider's service is pretty much on par with the camera quality.)

TIVO LOGLINES

I went looking though the TiVo program guide to see if there was anything on TV worth recording. There's not, but I did find some amusing loglines.

Spoiler alert!

Ah, it's the age-old story. On Lifetime.

Be careful not to confuse the ASSraelis with the POLEstinians.

Their appetites... for sausage pizza?

Finally — a Henny Yougman reference in a porn title!

SEACREST OUT

On this day in 2004, I walked out the door of the live daily talk show On Air With Ryan Seacrest and never returned.

I spent my first few weeks writing material that was rejected by one of the EPs as being "too funny." I still have memos from him with that comment. (I imagined the viewer sitting in front of the TV set laughing... and then saying "Christ, this is too funny - I gotta change the channel!")

The relentless schedule was brutal. It wasn't long before many good people started going insane — this is supervising producer Michael Weinberg at the precise moment he lost his mind.

Reena took this.

SEATTLE 200

Virgin America differs from other airlines in that the aircraft is bathed in hip, violet lighting. And they pump high-energy electronica music into the bathroom. When you're peeing, you sort of feel like you're in the world's most exclusive disco..

The walls of hot dog restaurant Diggity Dog are covered with drawings by children of dogs. This is my favorite — a barking hot dog. I wonder what this child thinks is in his Diggity Dog.

Here are a few shots from Jen's houseboat — she lives on a boat! (Well, sometimes.)

I chose not to find out what an "Ichiroll" tastes like.

THE MOMENT OF TRUTH